Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up feeling dead, go back to sleep, and then finally feel like you can cope with humanity? Yeah, me neither. Today I feel awful, and my sweatpants prove it.

Don’t get me wrong—I love wearing sweatpants. As soon as I get home after class, the jeans come off and the sweatpants come on. But whenever I wear sweatpants outside, know that it’s a cry for help. I wore sweatpants today. And even the cool ~edgy~ snapback and chic new sunglasses couldn’t make up for it. Also I wore fuzzy socks. I’m unclear as to if that’s a cry for help or a victory. Maybe only time can tell.

I rarely have days where I completely surrender, but I think that they’re healthy sometimes. Like, some days, all you can do is heat up last night’s spaghetti, curl up under your blankets, and watch TV Land. No, I’m not making that up. Yes, that is what I did today. I watched this show, Teachers, where they said that “mimosas where a way for you to justify drinking in the morning.” They said this to schoolchildren. It is very much a show that I connect with.

Ugh, do you ever have times where you don’t have any original stories? That’s me. I mean, I have stuff that I could write about, but that would be putting my personal life on blast, which, until I write my tell-all memoir, If The Police Ask You Anything, Claim Plausible Deniability: A Tell-All Memoir, isn’t something I’m comfortable doing. I’m not at the point yet where I have enough friends to torch certain relationships for clicks and shares. Close, but not yet.

Lol I’m just trying to fill space. I reblogged a Tumblr post that I’m gonna try to include that was SO true about LOL. Hold on. Also, while we wait, consider how odd it is that “lol” is fun and flirty, but “LOL” is mom-ish and serial killer-y.

 

Okay, I’m done. Not done with you, but done with this post. I’ll be better on Tuesday. Maybe something ~crazy~ will have happened to me by then, that I can cannibalize and put into a succinct, hilarious post. Yet again, my main goal in life is utilizing my life for clickbait.