I use Tinder, because obviously I’m alone. I say “obviously” because I talk about Ina Garten too much to be in a stable relationship. The most stable relationship I have are with Trader Joe’s cashiers. Those bonds are for life.
Tinder shows you commonalities with each person that you’re swiping through in a drunken frenzy because you’ve just seen an Instagram of someone who’s not as hot as you but is in a relationship. Those commonalities are divided up into “friends” and “likes.” And because I’ve had my Facebook since I was 12—my mom had no idea, i.e. I’m a bad boi—I’ve liked a lot of strange things. And it’s creepy when you see that a lot of the things you liked as a tween pop up as a mutual commonality between you and a potential “beau.”
So the other day, to weed out the crazies, I cleaned up my Facebook likes. And if you’ve never done it. I highly encourage it. It’s bizarre and you almost have to wonder, “Did I ever like these pages?”
I’ve included some choice screenshots of things that I’ve liked over the years. They’re aged, and they’re dated, and what the fuck was I thinking?
(All screenshots are courtesy of moi).
I really didn’t do much this week. I slept a lot. I took a week off from the gym, so I’ve been starting to go back to that. I made gnocchi last night—so bomb, you guys—and honestly I think I found God. In the gnocchi. Is that sacrilegious? Or is that sacridelicious???
There’s really nothing I could ever add to this. Nothing much has been happening. I haven’t been doing too much, and I’ll never have an original idea ever again probably, or at least for the next few days.