Celebrity Sunday, Holidannys

CELEBRITY SUNDAY: SAINT, SELENA, SNL, AND HILLARY

This week has been chockfull of exciting celebrity news! News sounds a lot like “nudes,” doesn’t it? And also “cruise.” Interesting. I hope you enjoy the second installment of “Celebrity Sunday!” Now dive in!

Starting off, we’ve got:

1). Selena Gomez and Niall Horan were apparently kissing at Jenna Dewan-Tatum’s birthday party:

This one is alternatively titled “Selena Gomez just became Number 1 on my hit list.” Okay, so Selena has since denied that anything is going on between her and the only non-tattooed member of One Direction, the blonde Irish hunk Niall Horan. They were seen having dinner together last month, and apparently they were getting the PDA on at the birthday party. But now, in an interview with Entertainment Tonight at Billboard’s 10th Annual Women in Music event in New York City, the 23-year-old former witch said that is a definite PD-nay. I guess I should be happy that my Irish prince isn’t with Selena Gomez, but I’m also offended that she would be in such deep de-Niall about how hot he is.

2). SAINT WEST:

If I literally hear another person say “Uh, Kim and Kanye think they’re gods, so of course they named their kid Saint,” I will flip a shit. Obviously Kim and Kanye don’t think like that, because no one other than Kim Davis thinks like that, and can we just appreciate the name for the name? It’s a cute name, and as long as they don’t pronounce it as “san”—the French way—I’ll be fine. Also it’s probably much more a reference to Saint-Laurent and high fashion in general. Bottom line, it’s a chic name, and truly, what were we expecting? That they would name their kid “Ricky?” Like, we all thought it would be South or Easton. And if you can’t handle him at his “South,” you don’t deserve him at his “Saint.”

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3). I Am Jazz is renewed for a second season:

I Am Jazz, the TLC show following the life of Jazz Jennings, a transgender teenager, got renewed for a second season. Okay, why is this important? Omg I’m so glad you asked. It’s important because any amount of positive representation of the transgender community is massively, hugely, sensationally important. Especially when shows like I Am Jazz shine a light on a different story. Obviously I Am Cait is amazing, but that portrays a very narrow focus on an adult, white, privileged, traditionally beautiful transgender woman. So whenever representation falls upon different people, it’s a positive. Because Caitlyn Jenner, while she is currently the most prominent transgender person on the screen right now, is not the only. Also check out Benton Sorensen and Kat Blaque if you’re interested in other representations of trans youth!

4). The Saturday Night Live Alien Abduction skit:

So I think this might technically have been last week, but we all know that no one actually watches SNL on the day; we all just see various clips throughout the week on Facebook. And oftentimes—and I’m by no means a “comedy writer” so take my opinion with a grain of salt—SNL kind of disappoints me. But I love when the actors break while they’re doing a skit, and this just took the cake. Also I think the idea of aliens doing some serious titty-bouncing is hilarious and very likely. Do you believe in aliens? Comment down below!

5). Kris Jenner is trying to trademark #proudmama:

Kris Jenner is a literal g0ddess but also crazy, so this doesn’t surprise me. The 60-year-old Yzma lookalike uses #proudmama on her Instagram regularly, and is trying to trademark it for “marketing purposes.” In May 2015, she also filed a legal bid to trademark “momager.” I can understand the “momager” thing, but “proud mama” just seems like a stretch. But she is an incredibly shrewd businesswoman, so maybe she’s just giggling/cackling at all this promo all the way to the bank in her Yeezy sneakers.

6). Hillary Clinton says that Donald Trump is no longer funny:

The future President of the United States appeared on Late Night With Seth Meyers and said that she is no longer amused by Donald Trump. And everyone in the entire world answers with a resounding, “Yeah, same. Duh.” Before his inflammatory comments about barring Muslims from entering the US, he was an “equal-opportunity insulter.” But his comments are dangerous now, Hillary says, because it gives ammunition to terrorists for spreading their propaganda. Isolating and alienating Muslim-Americans only perpetuates this dumb idea that they can’t be trusted. And then it becomes this downward spiral. The interview also came a few days after Arianna Huffington wrote that they would no longer be covering Trump in the “Entertainment” section. They refused to recognize the legitimacy of his candidacy, but he is no longer funny. “We are no longer entertained.”

7). The trailer for Tarzan came out:

Alexander Skarsgard is so hot, and I’m going to be so real, that’s the only reason this movie A) appears on my Celebrity Sunday list, B) is relevant, and C) was even made. Like, I don’t know how necessary a Tarzan movie was. But seeing Alexander Skarsgard shirtless with abs ripping through the screen is totally necessary.

8). Rihanna raises over $3 million at the Diamond Ball 2015—and also looks amazing in Dior:

Rihanna hosted her second annual Diamond Ball for her Clara Lionel foundation. She raised over $3 million to “improve the quality of life for communities globally in areas of health, education, arts, and culture.” Kylie Jenner attended the Ball, as did Will and Jada Smith, and Lionel Richie. Most importantly, she looks amazing in a diaphanous cream silk dress and matching coat by Dior.

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9). Hillary Clinton is going to guest-star on Broad City:

This is very important because three of my favorite people are going to be in the same space together. The future President of the United States will appear in the upcoming third season of the Comedy Central hit. It isn’t known yet how/what capacity Hillary will feature in the Amy Poehler-produced show, but it’s obviously going to be amazing, yasqueen? The trio posted a pic on Twitter, collectively shattering my pelvis and the Internet.

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10). The trailer for Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix series is out:

Everyone’s favorite late-night comedian and the “coslopus” queen, Chelsea Handler, has a new Netflix show. The four-part docuseries is entitled Chelsea Does and will follow Chelsea as she dives into the respective worlds of marriage, Silicon Valley, racism, and drugs. Originally it was thought that Handler, after leaving her E! talk show to partner with Netflix, was going to produce a streaming, current show. However, it looks like that has morphed into the docuseries. The series will drop in January. I’m really excited about this show because Chelsea has often, and loudly, talked about how she doesn’t really enjoy dissecting celebrity culture. And as a self-proclaimed pop culture journalist, I can totally relate to how dangerous it can be to fall into that honey trap. This series follows Chelsea as she dissects and discusses actual, thoughtful, real issues, while maintaining her humor and psychosis.

I’m going to put Celebrity Sunday to bed, because this bitch is a lot to handle. But don’t worry, we’ll be back next week. I mean, I’ll be back tomorrow. But the duo—me and the amorphous (omg, that doesn’t mean “fat!” Stop, CS! Don’t be crazy!) Celebrity Sunday—are going to go underground, do our research, and reemerge as stunning Dior butterflies this time next week!

HAPPY HOLIDANNYS!

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