IT’S CHRIMMAS Y’ALL! MERCY CHRUSMAST! Okay, so it’s not. It’s Christmas Eve. And I was on Twitter, and someone I followed had retweeted a bunch of (hopefully fake) Meninist accounts with the hashtag: “Christmas Adam!” So I’m obviously converting to whatever religion that is. Christmas (St)eve.

I think that Christmas Eve is always the best day of the Christmas season. It’s that breathy anticipation of Christmas, without the realization that Christmas is actually over that I always get on Christmas Day. Christmas Eve is Kris Kringle presents and fireplaces and Christmas Mass. And my dad bought a boatload of appetizers and I’m high-key excited.


I’ll be so sad when the season is over. I’ve been getting into the “spirit” for a month and a half, essentially, and it’ll be sad when it’s over. January is a very un-spirit-y month, and there aren’t really any good holidays in the winter/spring/new year. There’s Valentine’s Day—which is more like “You’re single and eating Ben & Jerry’s on your bed” Day—and Arbor Day and St. Patrick’s Day—which is “Watching other people desecrate my heritage and get drunk during the day”—and then…Labor Day? Like, are there even any other holidays?

But obviously let’s not focus on that. Even though it’s like 70 degrees in New York, let’s snuggle into the Christmas spirit. I’m sitting in my living room surrounded by the aura of presents and—oh my god my Christmas tree is crooked. Like, so crooked. Is it going to fall over? Oh my god, Deborah. That’s the tree’s name—Deborah. Deborah go home, you’re drunk.


Since this is the last “Thoughtful Thursday” of Holidannys 2015, I feel like I can touch upon the end of the year, even though this won’t be the last blog before 2016. I’m kind of excited for 2015 to be over, but not in a bad way. This year was actually super-amazing, and I’m kind of excited for it to be over and for 2016 to begin and be amazing too. Is that weird? That because it was good that I’m glad it’s over? 2016 is going to be such a ball3r year—I’ll turn 21, I’ll be a senior in college (oh my god I just threw up in my mouth writing that), I’ll be hotter than ever, I’ll finally learn how to properly say “February.” It’ll be truly amazing. I’ll eat so many burgers.

I think I went into 2015 with extremely low expectations; and now I’m going into 2016 with extremely high expectations. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m a natural pessimist, so I’m always low-expectations-y, but I actually have a good feeling about 2016. Other than having to write out 2016—such a spiky number, not like that fat round goddess 2015—I really don’t see how this year couldn’t be good.

*then falls into a well and is trapped for six months*


so I hope that you all have an amazing Christmas. I hope that you get fun presents and get to spend time with people who love you and who you love. That may be your family, your friends, your parole officer. I hope you don’t do that thing where you eat like shit because it’s the “holidays” and 2016 is going to be a “new year, new me.” Do that thing where you eat like shit unapologetically and then decide to work out because you want to; not because January says so. I hope you have a good “Oh this is exactly what I wanted” face when you don’t get exactly what you wanted. I hope that you get what you wanted; I hope you get what you need.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays.



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