Written while driving back from a weekend away near the Finger Lakes because sometimes you just need an upstate moment.

It’s been so long since I’ve shopped not online that you almost forget the terrifying possibility of finding something, trying it on, realizing it looks unflattering, shattering the dressing room mirror and getting yourself a lifetime ban from the J.Crew outlet. Luckily, that didn’t happen, but my pulse was raised the entire time in anticipation. Most people have fight-or-flight reactions in the face of a grizzly bearing down on you, or a gang circling around you on an unlit street corner. I had that chemical adrenaline kick when faced with an overpriced (sorry, J.Crew) button-down in a ~funky~ pattern. I don’t think I would do well in a post-apocalyptic scenario.

Half of my “friends” (social media friends) are vacaying in tropical locations (your Hawaiis, your Miamis, your Jamaicas) and the other half are kicking it in their hometowns. 100% percent of my actual, h2g friends are kicking it in their hometowns. Thank god for that because I have jealousy issues.

Instead of jetting (sorry—Jetta-ing*) down to a sunny locale, me and the fam went upstate to visit our extended fam. It extended my wallet, my mind, and my stomach. My heart remains closed. And as I’m writing this, I’m traveling back home and taking a break from reading Superficial, the latest installment in the Andy Cohen Diaries. And this has been a very Andy Cohen weekend, in a way. The following are random, relatively-unrelated paragraphs that operate, almost haiku-like, in conjunction with each other. It’s a literary mosaic, but not like those word clouds that Facebook generates at the end of every year. I’m very boring, according to Facebook. Shade.

I shopped and picked up some great “pieces.” Whether or not I purchased these with vacation brain will soon be discovered (the same brain that buys a timeshare in Clearwater, Florida). Spent the entire weekend in my Clarks desert boots—which I haven’t worn consistently since high school—and really felt my oats. On a related note, everyone should watch the music video for “STUN,” Alaska’s song with Gia Gunn off her Poundcake album.


I ate fish tacos (Andy Cohen’s never mentioned fish tacos but one can assume; such a chic taco). I watched three (3) Oscar-nominated movies (La La Land, Lion, and Moonlight). And after having watched all three, I remain firm in my opinion that while La La Land was cinematic and flawlessly shot, written, and produced (and the soundtrack is bomb), Moonlight deserved to win. Knowledge, pass it on, bitches.

Side bar—I’m very into “important” things right now. Like “this movie was important.” Not in a condescending way though. I watched Paris is Burning (on Netflix rn! Watch it hunhy!**) and was utterly spellbound by it. Seeing the first public introduction/source of so much queer culture was, frankly, inspiring and humbling. And even though Paris is Burning is a beautiful intersectional representation of the queer POC community, it was impossible not to, even just as a queer person, be awed by the history.

Read an article about gay men and loneliness, which can apparently be attributed to something called “minority stress”—that even if you weren’t particularly bullied, you were introduced to the trauma of being the “only”, which has effects later on. Yikes but also important. Will link HERE when I’m out of the car. The all-caps isn’t me yelling at you, hunhy, is me yelling at me not to forget to link. Don’t forget, dick.

I listened to Lorde’s new single more, and I can’t place the piano in the “bridge” (is that the right spot) where she sings “But I hear sounds in my mind/ Brand-new sounds in my mind”. I’m ~young~ but am I right in grounding that bridge in the ‘80s? It’s got a very ‘80s jazzy pop-ballad tune to it. I’m just stringing words together. Overall I think it’s incredible—her breathy notes, the enunciation and emphasis of “s”, the lyrics (I love any mention of teeth)—and it’s fascinating to hear an artist’s sound after a prolonged absence. In a way, it’s what Adele should’ve been. 25 is beautiful, but it’s very similar to 21 in sound. “Green Light” is different than the saturated, Tumblr-themed sadcore pop that Lorde had on her Pure Heroine album. And “Green Light” did exactly what it aimed to do—made me excited to hear Melodrama.

Have been diving back into my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist. I did it a few months ago and found some great bands. Then I thought I was smarter than the playlist (hubris) and spent the next few weeks overplaying all my music. How did I even wonder why I hated my music? So, humbled, I’ve crawled back to my Discover Weekly and have found some great new songs.

Hindsight, bitch.

Petted a dog all weekend. There’s something uniquely therapeutic about petting a dog that isn’t yours—makes you realize that other dogs can be cute too. And if other dogs can be cute, then maybe there’s hope for all of us. Big leap, but I’m nothing if not 13 Going on 30.

**Was trying to type “hunty” to my friend, which was autocorrected as “Hunyh” which in turn was interpreted by my friend as “hunhy” which I like too much not to use. Is this how language develops? Who knew it was so gay!



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