Humor, Mental Health

SELF-CARE: SOME TIPS, TRICKS, AND WHY IT’S IMPORTANT

Written after eating Talenti coffee gelato and trying not to hate myself. 

See that right there, that “trying not to hate myself” was a great act of self-care. I’m already off to a fantastic start. Go you, me!

Monday I wrote about my anxiety-ridden weekend, so I thought it would be nice to write something medium-positive to take the sting out of pouring my emotions out for the homies. It was either this or go in the complete opposite creative direction to make you forget completely that I can ever be a sensitive human/sentient robot.

So I was doing my daily ritual of light incense, meditation and cleaning out my “YouTube Watch Later” playlist, which at some points is longer than my list of friends (short list of friends or long list of to-be-watched videos? You be the judge), and I watched a video of Tyler Oakley’s called “Five Easy Ways To Self-Care” or something like that—idk I’ll put it below, don’t make me look it up rn—and that triggered/inspired/thinspired me to do something similar, but a little more…me.


A lot of times when I see self-care things, they’re by “nice” people and all of the suggestions are helpful but not very appropriate for someone who spends as much time praying that “vibing” people with negative thoughts will make their lives worse.

See I also just watched the season two premiere of Difficult People, which if you’re not watching, you should be, and if you are watching, stop taking my thing, and that’s much more me—a couple of 7/10s running around, being mean/funny to people. For a lot of people like me—hot but mean—we can’t really identify with traditionally “nice” people. So here is the self-care guide you need if you’re a little bit of a dick and a lot of a mess.

Obviously there are the obvious things—obvi duh—like exercise (because exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make people happy, and happy people don’t kill their husbands, duh!), drinking lots of water and eating healthily, and getting plenty of sleep. But you didn’t come here for a regular self-care guide—you came here for the Naomi Campbell of self-care guides (dangerous, beautiful, unpredictable).

1). Scream so loud: This is actually (semi)therapist approved. I once had a therapist who suggested that, as a way to get out my deep-seated anger, I get into my car and scream. Loudly. For as long as I could. When I, repressed as I am, finally did it, I was amazed at how good I felt. The primal and visceral reaction of screaming out loud, or into a pillow, or silent-screaming, is shockingly effective. It releases tension, it untwists the anger coils in your chest, and it’s so flagrantly weird that you have to laugh. At least, that’s what it makes me do. Alternatively, you could fake-laugh-scream at something, which always makes me actual laugh. Because I can find nothing real-funny until I find it ironic-funny. I’m a millennial.

2). Throw out your scale (or if it’s expensive just don’t use it): Seriously, if it’s money, just put it out of sight. I’m on a budget too. When I was at school, I didn’t have a scale and it actually really improved my mood. I know this because when I got home for the summer and discovered our fancy digital scale, I became obsessed with weighing myself. A lot of the anxiety-driven part of my depression manifests in body obsession and that translates to needing to know how much I weigh at any point. So I decided to stop weighing myself again and just let myself live. And it really helps. Numerical weight is such a scam anyway; a number can’t tell me how I feel about myself, or how the weight carries itself. I can be at my heaviest, but if I feel good, then that number is irrelevant.

A lot of self-care is cutting out unnecessary stress and stressors in your life, and trying not to give a shit about your weight—within reason—just seems like a no-brainer.

3). Pep talk: I don’t know how most people think, but I don’t think in words as much as I do in images and visceral emotions. Like, I don’t think, “Oh I’m nervous about work.” I feel it much more deeply and see it play out before me. And because of that, I don’t really have any sort of internal dialogue with myself. So when I’m feeling like I need to self-care, I’ll have a pep talk for myself, out loud in the mirror. In his video, Tyler actually said to treat yourself like your best friend, and that means to be nice to yourself and to lift yourself up. Alternately, I constantly sing out loud to myself. I’m not a good singer, but I do it when I walk, or do dishes, or fold laundry. Singing is a good, very healing thing to do. Emote, bitches.

4). Unfollow unhealthy social media accounts: I talked about this a little in my last post, but I can’t stress enough what a difference it has made. I’m not just talking about unfollowing boyz who you think are out of your league but are actually too emotionally withdrawn to like you; this totally works for cleaning out your social media followings. Unfriend that person you haven’t seen in forever; don’t force yourself to click through the Snap story of a colleague from four years ago who you only follow in the faint hopes of a shirtless moment. A lot of self-care is surrounding yourself with positivity and people you love; ditch the acquaintances.

 5). Watch videos of people falling: Funny as shit.

There are other, simpler things—good music, time spent outdoors, snuggling with cute animals. Then are other, more extensive things—a good therapist, self-reflection, journaling. It all depends on what you need. Also always remember to try to look on the positive…is the most annoying thing that anyone can ever say to anyone, but it’s honestly true. Even if you don’t have depression, it’s so easy to be stuck in the rut of negativity; taking active steps to appreciate things around you—nice eyebrows, the sunlight effusing a green leaf, old people holding hands—can change the roadways of your brain and rewire you for a happier outlook. Idk if that’s true; I read that somewhere.

If all else fails, start small. Smile. Take deep breaths. Close your eyes and just sit. And then read through all of my blog and tell me how smart, but how humble, and how funny, but how unintimidating, I am. Also someone sponsor me!!! Give me that $$$ so I don’t have to write “60 Ways To Get Your Sexy Back” listicles for the rest of my life!

Also I’ve been frequently changing up my header image to convince myself that I have some semblance of control over my life. What do you think??

Screen Shot 2016-07-13 at 10.41.30 PM.png

Source: Danny McCarthy via The Wunderkindof

Advertisements
Standard
Things I Like

PODCASTS THAT YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO

There is something that I do consistently throughout the day. I do it in the car. I do it in my bedroom. I do it in my bathroom. Sometimes, I even do it at the gym. Some might say it’s a naughty little habit, but I’m addicted, and I can’t give it up.

Oh. No, no. It’s anything bad, like doing the cocaine or rolling marijuana cigarettes or chronic masturbation. Did it seem like that? On the count of three, let’s both say what we think it is.

One…two…three! 

You: Murder!

Me: Murder! I mean—err—podcasts.

Yes, that’s right. I f*cking love podcasts. Long ones, short ones; multiple hosts; single hosts. I think there is nothing better than having a long list of unlistened-to podcasts.

(Side bar: I have no clue how this happened, but I just ended up reading through the entirety of Roseanne Barr’s Wikipedia page; and she has lived.)

Anyway, literally what was I talking about?

I first became into podcasts when my family and I went to Ireland over the summer, and it was 10 days crammed into a single car with four psychopaths (love you guys!). I like listening to music and staring out of windows, but the idea of doing that constantly while we drove around the coastline of our ancestors (s/o to Ireland) was a little much, so I began downloading podcasts. And my personhood changed quicker than that time I went through puberty—still waiting to finish going through puberty, tbh.

anigif_enhanced-2589-1412878014-7.gif

Why the f*ck does this exist??

So here are the top podcasts that I’ve been loving and I’m going to require that you love too. Because if you don’t love them, then you don’t love me, and why are you even here, Marcus? Trying to ruin my life again? God. Things will never change with you.

This is in no particular order, so calm down:

1). Psychobabble

Hosts: Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl.

Okay, so if you know YouTube at all, then you probably know of Tyler Oakley, but don’t be alarmed. This isn’t a necessary requirement to like Psychobabble. It’s very pop-culture heavy, and has the same feeling of listening in on two besties in a coffeeshop. They’re very conversational and relaxed and mostly just talk.

Pros: Easy to get into; minimal knowledge of anything other than pop culture required. Feel-good.

Cons: Only 30 minutes. Contains no convicts.

tumblr_nhu3q1l0Tw1thwheuo1_400.gif

Truly my reaction to everything.

2). #girlboss

Host: Sophia Amoruso

One of my newest faves. Sophia Amoruso is the creator and CEO of Nastygal, a clothing brand, and wrote a book #GIRLBOSS. Her podcast is dedicated to interviewing interesting women who are killing it in their careers. What initially drew me to her was her interview with Sloane Crosley (who is one of my top three favorite writers/career role models) but I actually like her very peaceful dialogue and calm voice and good interview questions.

Pros: Awesome guests. Good banter.

Cons: New, so it hasn’t kicked into its vibe quite yet; has weird transitional music.

3). Straight Talk with Ross Mathews

Hosts: Ross Mathews, panel of co-hosts.

Ugh, I love this so much. It’s extremely well-organized and has the feel of an actual, legitimate radio show—it even has a show on Sirius XM once a week with live interactions with callers. It has Ross Mathews (Jay Leno, E News, RuPaul’s Drag Race and now Hollywood Today Live), who is funny and sweet and gives good advice. Sometimes they bash one of the cohosts, which is one of my absolute pet-peeves on a radio show when they have one person who is the punching bag, but I try to overlook it.

Pros: 2x a week. Segments include: Email of the Week, Snack Attack, game shows, and advice.

Cons: Sometimes can drag on. Sometimes the co-hosts annoy the shit out of me.

tumblr_mtlepxl1yg1qlgbzbo3_400.gif

Expect realness like this.

4). The Nerdist

Hosts: Chris Hardwick & other ppl idk

I’ve heard about this for a while, and I finally looked it up and listened to the interview with Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer. It was a little “inside joke-y” but really funny and interesting and a good peek into the world of comedy writing.

Pros: Has funny people on it.

Cons: Is sometimes too much to handle.

5). Shane and Friends

Hosts: Shane Dawson and Jessie Buttafuoco

Okay, so this is another YouTuber, but he doesn’t do very YouTube-y things. Whereas some other YouTube podcasts only feature YouTube creators, Shane has gotten some cool/weird people, like Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, Bo Burnham, Tara Reid, and f*cking Farrah Abraham. Also they’re obsessed with Farrah, and have a “Farrah Abraham Time” when they discuss what crazy thing she’s done recently. Caveat, I really liked Shane and his previous cohost, Lauren, and their banter, but Lauren left to pursue other projects. I like Jessie, but she’s very “Live ya life” and sometimes makes me want to crack my jaw on a rock.

Pros: Good banter; good pop culture.

Cons: Shane mentions that he was 400 pounds and lost 200 pounds at least once a podcast.

ron.gif

You listening to my great podcasts.

Okay, so like I could literally talk about podcasts for another 1000 days, so if you wanna hang out and chat and discuss, we can totally do that. And if you’re a cute boy, then we can DEFINITELY HANG OUT pls pls love me.

Check out those podcasts and let me know which you liked, which you hated, and which you would listen to. Also give me ideas for other podcasts to listen to. I’m about to start listening to Nicole Polizzi’s podcast (Snooki—it’s Snooki) so obviously the bar is very low and I will accept any recommendations. Jk, I f*cking love Nicole.

Love you 5ever!

Standard