Humor, Rambles

THIS POST IS OAKY

I can’t really think of anything to write. I briefly contemplated not posting at all, but I’ve been doing a really great streak of having something up every Monday and Thursday and I know that I’ll feel bad if I don’t.

So here are a random string of paragraphs based on things that I’m thinking with my brain.

Someone went to the urinal next to mine in an otherwise empty bathroom. I don’t understand why people do this. Like, I get weirded out if someone parks next to my car in a mostly empty parking lot, but this involves my privates. I also have a shy bladder so if I had not already been peeing when he sidled up next to me, I would’ve done the urine version of a deer in headlights.

All of my friends are starting to go back to school and I’m going abroad so I leave like two weeks later than everyone else, and it’s not that I don’t want to go abroad, it’s just that for this brief amount of time when I’m stuck at home and they’ll all be with each other, before I go off on my Big Gay European Adventure—title pending—and do a bunch of stuff that’ll make them jealous, I’m the one that’s jealous. Some would say that this is a psychologically revealing moment for me where I come to terms with jealousy and blah blah blah, whatever, I’m a sociopath, get over it.

Can I have an open conversation with whoever designs menswear for J.Crew? Because we seriously need to talk about how there are no options for men, but the women have chic as fuck things year round. If I buy another cute flannel, I think my head might explode. Give me bold patterns, give me rips. Give me glamour, give me ass, give me love.

I’m seriously wondering if London has Panda Express. Like I know that there are better restaurants with better food that won’t do terrible things to my insides, but what will I do when the craving strikes across the pond if there’s no Panda Express? Like, I guess I could Google the answer but I prefer to live in ignorance.

I really miss Game of Thrones.

I have nothing else to say. I’m in the weird limbo of wanting to simultaneously be in Boston and be in London. I think once I get to London I’ll be better because I’ll be all British and hot as fuck and living my dream and walking around in Hyde Park. But it’s still rough. I hope I meet some cute boys there. And people who aren’t interested in partying until our brains leak out of our ears. Sometimes that’s fun, but I also need someone to veg with me. Who will be the carrot to my broccoli?

This blog is weird. That’s okay. I misspelt “okay” as “oaky” and that makes me think of how people use the weirdest adjectives to describe wines. BYE.

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