Holidannys

WTF WEDNESDAY: TWO ABREAST

This is going to be a quickie, so buckle up. I have a major WTF with people who walk side-by-side on the sidewalk.

WTF is up with that? I know that you desperately need to talk to your friend, but I’m dogging behind you like a goddamn specter or a guy in a trench coat, trying to get around you. Like, I walk two abreast at times, but I like to think that I have enough common sense to huddle close. Also, is it just me, or is it always the slowest people who decide to walk side-by-side?

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I walk extremely fast, and I drag my companions along with me, so I can get away with walking side-by-side. You, meandering along like a warm summer breeze, cannot get away with it.

And on a similar note, WTF is up with people who stand in front of empty train seats, but don’t sit down? I was on the tube this morning and this guy was standing, facing the window, right in front of a seat. Am I supposed to tap you on the shoulder and ask for permission? Or am I supposed to slide in between you and the seat like a manila folder?

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As you can tell, I’m a little short on ideas and time. It’s my last week in London, and I’m wringing every experience out of this proverbial wet towel. Today I went to the Sky Garden on the top of 20 Fenchurch Street—check out my snapchat (dannytheunicorn) or just Google it maybe? Like live in the 21st century? Get out of the Stone Age?—and then spent a small fortune on some traditional afternoon tea. My thoughts on salmon sandwiches—weird, tastes kind of like it’s not salmon, and I felt like a prince eating it. But maybe a disowned prince. Or Prince, the singer. Unconfirmed at this point.

I got my photo taken at Kings Cross the other day, on Platform 9 and ¾ and it was completely epic. I went by myself, despite my best attempts at finding a companion, and asked the group of Australian teen dancers behind me to talk my picture. The only boy, who might’ve been gay but also might’ve just been Australian, took my photo and I told him that I was going to work my angles. It ended up as a passable Instagram, once it went through rigorous filters.

And I suppose my biggest WTF is “WTF, this semester is almost over?” This semester has stretched over the course of several lifetimes. I’ve visited countries in these lifetimes; I’ve wandered around one of the oldest cities in the world. And I’m so happy to be going back to New York and America and Christmas and Dunkin Donuts, but I can’t help WTF a little.

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As we sat in the Sky Garden of 20 Fenchurch, 35 floors in the air and sipping on prosecco, two friends and I talked about this study-abroad. And I think it’s weird and wonderful and sad and happy that we’ve become independent, savvy, International Nasty Girls. And as I’ve decided already: once an International Nasty Girl, always an International Nasty Girl. That never leaves you.

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Okay, I’m off to a staff holiday party and I’m going to actually comb my hair for it! By the time you see this, I’ll already be there, because this is going up later, through the magic of scheduling. I hope you’re all having a nice day, and that you think I’m hot.

HAPPY HOLIDANNYS!

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