How do I get the life of Ina Garten, Hamptons house and a Jewish husband and all that, without having to go through her career of a White House budget analyst and cooking store mogul? Ponder that while you read this post and then message me privately. I would be very curious to know.

It’s Miscellaneous Monday on da blog, so I’m just going to ramble about the various goings-on of my life. Prepare for glamour. Pause for chic. Buckle in for disappointment.

Okay, so I wrote that paragraph and then immediately sunk back into Ina’s world and am now watching her make carrot salad. She’s already done a coq au vin, a chocolate cheesecake, stuffed Cornish hens, garlic mashed potatoes, mashed turnips, and made an entire chocolate wedding cake. I think her show counts more in the science fiction realm, rather than cookery, because literally how is she not 1,000 pounds? And how is Jeffrey not dead from consuming so much chocolate ganache?


literally me typing this blog.

I was watching while I was wrapping presents, and despite not having a ton of presents to wrap, it took me a while. I’m not a great wrapper—or a great rapper—so it’s a process. And Ina really makes me move slowly, as slowly as molasses dripping onto a freshly made Belgian waffle.

I’m also moving slowly because I started back up at the gym this week. I’ve done a legs-and-abs workout, a triceps-and-shoulders workout, and a back-and-biceps workout, and I literally feel like I am about to die. I forgot how sore you can be, and it’s been almost two months since I really worked out in any solid capacity. But I think I was completely ready to get back into the swing of things, even though not working out gives you so much free time to watch Netflix and eat ice cream. Like, truly, that’s all I did.


I went to the mall today—let’s go to the mall!—and I was shopping and I kind of hate all shop workers. Like, I know that it’s your job to say hi to me and ask me if I need help, but I hate you. I have to do the same thing; I get it, we all work in the service industry, but please let me browse these LUSH bath bombs in peace. I don’t need you to draw attention to the fact that I’ve been deciding between two different facial cleansers for the last ten minutes. We both know what’s been happening.

And the thing I noticed a lot is that they wanted my email a lot. Usually, they don’t ask, but this time they did, and I was so put off that I just gave it to them. But why do you need it? Why can’t I just buy this lotion in peace, and then slink off to Urban Outfitters to secretly check the sales, even though Urban is awful humanitarian-wise and I shouldn’t give them my business?


So gymming and shopping for Christmas presents—that’s really all I’ve done. Oh, and I keep doing this thing where I’ll dress like a human being for 1-2 hours when I go outside, and then as soon as I’m back in my house, I get into my Primark sweatpants and lie on the floor of my room. I have a bed. I just don’t use it. Right now I’m leaning against an armchair. Only after an hour of doing this with a sore butt did I think it might be a possibility for me to go into the armchair. But that’s too much work.

Everything is futile and everything will be sucked into the ether eventually!




The Kardashian-Jenner sisters released their holiday gift guides for this Christmas, and as per usual, the items on their lists are reasonably priced, spare necessities. The lists contained a healthy amount of product placement—Khloé’s book was on the list, as were a $1000 duffel bag from Kanye’s Adidas line and Rob’s socks from his Arthur George line. But it reminded me that I need to buy Christmas presents. It also reminded me that I’m terrible at buying Christmas presents.


I have good intentions—I don’t know who deliberately going into the present-buying process with bad intentions, unless you have your nemesis as your Secret Santa, which begets other questions such as “What are you going to get him?” and “Why are you in a friend circle with a nemesis?” and “Was there a cash limit?”—but I’m just not good at buying presents. I can’t do that, “Get them something they want, but wouldn’t buy for themselves” rule. I do the “I want to get this for them because it’s what I would want” rule, which ends with me just buying a present I want and leaving clawmarks on the wrapping paper when I give it to the recipient.


Usually—to be frank—I don’t buy Christmas presents. I usually just chip in on a bigger gift, or bully someone into helping me. But this year, partially because I got into the holiday season so early, I actually want to get presents for people. But it’s so difficult to put yourself in the mindset of someone else, and separate your wants for them from their actual wants. It seems like it’s very selfless, and I’m very selfish.

Also, I find it interesting the whole process of picking out your own presents. When I was a kid, I would give detailed descriptions of what kinds of various thermal shirts I wanted that year, or which particular shade of khakis I needed. Now, I just send links. Is that shady to just send links of what I want? Should I leave more mystery? I feel like giving a plethora of options via link is nice, because it takes the pressure off, and also allows the giver to get you something you’re guaranteed to like, and it’s not as impersonal as a gift card.


What was on your Christmas list for this holiday season? Are you one of those people who just wants “quality time” with their family? Or even worse, you “don’t want presents?” That’s a lie. We all know that that’s a lie. Everyone wants something; even if it’s a bobble-head. One year, I got a set of dinosaur toys. But I was, like, twelve, so it’s very unclear as to what my parents though I would do with those dinosaur toys.

And Christmas is when I got an iPod Nano, which was the beginning of me accidentally putting my sister’s music on my music library. And then I upgraded to the iPod Classic, which I just used as a miniature TV and purchased approximately 90% of the episodes of The Office.

Omg, this has been not amazing, but I promise I’ll actually put in effort for my posts. I’m going to say, “It’s just hard because it’s finals week and I’m trying to eke out the rest of my London experience,” but we all know it’s because I was watching holiday episodes of 30 Rock and took a three-hour-long nap. So let’s not lie to each other. Let’s not do this.