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Danny McCarthy

Danny McCarthy

Danny McCarthy is a journalist focused on the intersection of pop culture and politics. His work has appeared in Westchester Magazine, Mediaplanet, The Odyssey Online and The BU Buzz. He is passionate about queer issues, personal essays and Ina Garten. He is currently pursuing a Master's in Journalism from the University of Southern California.

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Tag Archives: RPDR9

LGBTQ, Review, television

REVIEW of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE S9E5, “Reality Stars: The Musical”

April 23, 2017Danny McCarthydrag, drag queen, drag race, Logo, Logo TV, RPDR, RPDR9, RuPaul, Rupaul's Drag Race, VH1 Leave a comment

Kardashiummm

Grade: B

From top-to-bottom, this episode felt very…messy. It wasn’t bad, (thus the B-grade) but it wasn’t stunning—it was just messy. The drama felt forced and messy, as opposed to last week’s Eureka vs. Trinity or Aja vs. Valentina. This episode was classicly RPDR-produced, where at the top of the episode, you set up someone’s desire to win a challenge and someone hating on someone else, all to the sound of the Rococo rattleshade before the intro.

The queen wanting to win is Alexis Michelle, who immediately wins the mini-challenge—a selfie-stick photoshoot with the Pit Crew (Where is Bryce?)—and gets to give out parts in this week’s maxi-challenge: Kardashian, The Musical.

The queen hating on someone else is Nina Bo’nina Brown who is given the role of Khloe Kardashian by Alexis. Nina wanted Blac Chyna—the role of which was given to Shea—and calls sabotage. Sabotage? Khloe is literally the meatiest—no pun intended—of all the Kardashian sisters. If Nina were smart, she would’ve recognized that. But no, she wanted Chyna and proceeded to throw a low-grade hissy fit for the next forty minutes.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 3.55.28 PM

Source: LogoTV

Part of the reason this episode was so boring is because the Kardashians are boring. They’re interesting enough for you to watch the real-life versions, but that charm does not translate to imitation. So even though some of the queens—Alexis, Shea, the celeb trio of Peppermint, Sasha and Trinity—did really well, even their “really well” was pretty boring.

The Tops:

Alexis shines as Kris Jenner, right down to the ugly mule wedge-heel. Trinity made me laugh as Paris Hilton, because she’s perfectly heroin-chic-thin and that fugly blonde wig was so Paris mid-2000s. Sasha was cute, but relatively unmemorable as Lindsay Lohan, but still definitely one of the better ones. And Peppermint was really great as Britney, even though her nude bodysuit was giving me horror-flashbacks to the Nude Illusion challenge on Season 7.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 3.55.08 PM

Source: LogoTV

Shea was fantastic as Blac Chyna. Her part was arguably the smallest—time-wise—but it remained the center of the entire performance. Her look was right—even though she’s long and lean and leonine, unlike Chyna who is very short and curvy—down to the cheek piercings. But what really made her pop were her dance moves. I literally had no idea she was that good. Shea is so talented I’m gonna die, I love her.

The Bottoms:

Farrah and Valentina were as boring and lifeless as Kylie and Kendall as…well, I guess, Kendall and Kylie. Farrah was serving solidly 2015-Kylie, dark lip and turquoise wig, and V was just serving herself. The difficult part of Kendall is that, as a model, she’s built to melt into the vision of whatever designer she’s walking for. That means that she herself isn’t too memorable. Kylie, on the other hand, is ultra-memorable and Farrah completely misses the mark.

Annoyingly, Nina Bo’nina Bummer was solidly fine as Khloe. On one hand, I was really taken with her in the beginning, but her negativity really made me root for her failure. I’m a dick. Whatever.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 3.56.28 PM

Source: LogoTV

The runway—Faux Fur—was split pretty evenly between the Have and the Have-Nots of Style. Shea was serving a very bubbly monster-pink look, similar to her walk-in look; Valentina was curvy and resplendent in snakeskin and a fur stole; Sasha was giving us weird girl-boy Russian couture; Eureka was the Mother Monster to Shea’s look.

But as good as the Goods were, the Bads were even worse. Peppermint consistently misses the mark on fashion; Alexis was totally boring; Farrah served bright red hair with bright green fur. I think I would’ve liked Farrah’s more had it not been such a bright red hair—if it were blonde, it would’ve looked a lot less clownish.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 3.57.08 PM

Source: LogoTV

Santy-Alley Fontaine and Farrah are in the bottom two for their lackluster Kim and Kylie, respectively. After a lip-sync to guest judge—eye roll—Meghan Trainer’s song, “Whatever, not gonna bother looking it up”, RuPaul seems poised to, in all honesty, send them both home when…out of nowhere…a PA comes to the bottom of the desk.

And for the first time in herstory, Ru Rucuses herself from the judge’s table. And when she returns, she calls out…a new name.

“Eureka!”

Yes, the Elephant Queen, who had been on crutches the entire episode from her knee-thing in Episode One, has a torn ACL and requires emergency surgery. My mouth was literally agape because Eureka was my absolute, besides Shea and Sasha and V, favorite queen on the season. She was dynamic and personable and beautiful and polished. And the fact that she had to go home without losing—without being in the bottom—and with no fault of her own, is heartbreaking.

Screen Shot 2017-04-23 at 3.54.30 PM

Source: LogoTV

Ru extends an invitation to compete on Season 10, which Eureka will hopefully accept. And I just have one thing to say—I can’t believe we already know who will win Season 10! I’m not even joking, I believe in her that much.

Also, I finally understand her farewell phrase, “You Found It!” Because “eureka!” in Greek means, “I’ve found it!”

FINAL THOTS:

  • No one else on this season better do a “jungle-themed” look, because after Kimora and Trinity, I’ve had…what? It!
  • Next week’s runway is “Night of A Thousand Madonnas” which is a challenge from last year where half the queens wore runways and Raja’s eyes burst a blood vessel.
    • Kimonogate 2.0
  • SNATCH GAME NEXT WEEK!!
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Review, television

REVIEW of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE S9E3, “Draggily Ever After”

April 8, 2017Danny McCarthyAja, Alexis Michelle, Charlie Hides, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, drag, drag queen, drag race, Eureka O'Hara, Farrah Moan, Jaymes Mansfield, Kimora Blac, Logo, Logo TV, Nina Bo'Nina Brown, Peppermint, RPDR, RPDR9, RuPaul, Rupaul's Drag Race, Sasha Velour, Shea Coulee, Trinity Taylor, valentina, VH1 Leave a comment

Grade: B+

Once the first elimination happens, the lovey-dovey kaikai of the queens shatters and they realize that, hunny, this is a competition. So when the ladies filter back into the Werk Room after the elimination of Jaymes Mansfield, the tone has drastically shifted. Thank god.

This week is sans a mini-challenge because the maxi-challenge is to create a fairytale princess and a sassy sidekick character. Now, remember the Season 7 Hello Kitty challenge? The queens had to make a Hello Kitty-inspired couture look and a Hello Kitty companion. I assumed that this challenge would be the same, with the queens walking the runway twice in each look. Nope.

Instead, the queens walked the runway once in their princess looks, while a CGI version of their sassy sidekick (fake body and the queens themselves dragged up in character) floating next to them. It was, without a doubt, one of the most emotionally scarring moments for me to see Farrah’s disembodied head—painted stark-yellow as a fish—floating next to Farrah as a mermaid on the main stage. I won’t recover and I’m sending RuPaul my psychiatry bill for the session that I’ll need to deal.

With the first sewing challenge comes my favorite part of Drag Race—a queen complaining that she didn’t know she had to prepare for this. This is season 9, and we still have queens whining that they didn’t understand the challenge. I could set my watch by it. This season, it’s Kimora—she of “Only Ugly Girls Wear Sparkles” fame—and Farrah—whose highlight could be used to laser through solid steel if you paired it with a handheld mirror. The Vegas girls didn’t realize they would have to know how to sew, as Farrah whines while she hot-glues green sequined fabric onto a bra. Eureka, because she is godlike, helps out Farrah but honestly there’s only so much she could do. Lead a horse to water, and all that shit.

On the opposite side of the Werk Room, Aja has this challenge in the bag. I think it was episode one, but Aja said she was begging for a sewing challenge (or was that Jaymes?) because she would slay. Now she has it, and her fairytale princess character (a volcanic woman named Diastah) is going to slay the runway. She cackles out a laugh as she paints on her eyebrows. Now, I’m going to say this, and I know that I’m speaking as someone who has never done drag. Aja’s make-up was bad. It was, like, really bad. This has nothing to do with her skin—which other queens have apparently been shady and rude about. I don’t care about her skin. Her application of her makeup was bad. Her eyes were like Thorgy Thor did them in a k-hole, and her drawing of her lips made them look like a puckered, overwrought sneer. Her outfit, in my opinion, wasn’t even that bad—but I don’t even know because I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her makeup.

While they’re getting ready, the girls talk about the Orlando massacre at Pulse nightclub. Several of the queens are from the South—Cynthia was supposed to be performing there that night, and Trinity had performed there last week—so the shooting hit them especially hard. Topics like the Pulse massacre are difficult to talk about in reality television. There isn’t enough time, really, to give the topic its proper due, but I was glad to see that Drag Race addressed it. Other shows, like Vanderpump Rules, were filming during the event, so they obviously addressed it. but because it was Vanderpump, they made it all about how they—straight, white, cisgender people of privilege in West Hollywood—were upset by it. Which is disgusting. As Trinity said, queer people are still not accepted, despite marriage equality. And it’s something that we as a community need to keep in the back of our heads. It’s sad, but it’s true.

The queens hit the runway with guest judges Cheyenne Jackson (so hot) and Todrick Hall (so hot and talented). The top three are Valentina, Trinity and Peppermint, and the bottom three are Farrah, Kimora and Aja. Truly, when Farrah came out in her mermaid outfit, I blacked out and saw a vision of Derrick Barry in his mermaid look from last year, and I remembered how Derrick (in his “Mother” look) wore a dress that was a vague recreation of the dress that, in his words, made his father want to fuck his mother and impregnate her with Derrick. Darkdarkdark.

Honorable mentions include Shea (red hair, blue mermaid-style dress with a fabulously voluminous tulle puff on the bottom), Sasha for storytelling, Charlie for her headpiece, and Eureka for her sewer queen look. As someone said on Untucked, the “safe” queens had the most conceptual and intricate looks.

Trinity won the challenge for “going ugly”. That sounds like shade, but for a pageant queen, trying to go ugly is often what gets them eliminated. I’ll admit, I saw Trinity as a quick-elimination, but she’s really growing on me. I like her, and her silicone body a lot. Valentina is praised again for being Valentina and looking like Linda Evangelista, but as Aja said in Untucked in a jealous moment, Valentina’s look wasn’t that impressive. And it wasn’t—but it was modeled well and her sassy sidekick was fleshed out.

Farrah is safe and Aja and Kimora go head-to-head in the lip-sync. I heard from various people that Aja slays at performances, and so I was astonished when I saw it firsthand. She did massive twirls and jumped into a full-on split, spun into a death-drop, etc., etc. Aja is declared safe, and Kimora is sent home. There’s something about Kimora that’s magnetic—it might just be her sex-eyes—so I’m sad to see her go, but I don’t think she had the fire for competition. Which is fine, not everyone is cut out to go balls-to-the-wall against twelve other drag queens.

I didn’t see the promo for next week, because I missed the live screening and I had to watch on a shitty server. But I’m guessing it was mostly just Wendy Williams being…Wendy. Actually, that’s probably the silver lining of me watching it on a grainy server. I managed to avoid having to watch Ross Mathews and Wendy Williams. Thank god.

FINAL THOTS/STRAY OBSERGAYTIONS:
  • I still love Eureka, am loving Trinity a little more, and am enjoying (but cooling) on Valentina.
  • Charlie Hides—the world’s oldest living twink—makes a great elf.
  • I can’t believe Ru didn’t make a “fairy” joke when introducing the week’s challenge.
  • Nina’s outfit vaguely creeped me out and I can’t figure out why.

Next week: “Good Morning, Bitches!”

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LGBTQ, Review, television

REVIEW of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE S9E2, “She Done Already Done Brought It On”

April 1, 2017Danny McCarthyb-52s, cheerleading, drag, drag queen, drag race, Logo, Logo TV, michelle visage, RPDR, RPDR9, RuPaul, Rupaul's Drag Race, valentina, VH1, white party Leave a comment

Grade: A

WHO IS THE MYSTERY QUEEN, YOU ASK? You’d have to be…cucu not to be surprised by the return of this queen.

I’ve been making “cucu” jokes ever since I saw the back of that blue Mohawk. It’s Cynthia Lee Fontaine, the CuCu Queen!!!

The editors must’ve known that we all suspected it was Cynthia because they didn’t give a second between the “Previously On” and the RuVeal of Miss Cucu. I was watching with my friend and we looked at each other. All I could say was, “Well, that was anticlimactic.”

Screen Shot 2017-04-01 at 6.14.14 PM

Source: Logo TV

After everyone goes CuCu for her Coco Puffs, the kweens end back to the Werk Room. Cynthia starts by being Cynthia. “I’m in remission and I feel healthier as ever,” she says, and “I’m not gonna take that opportunity that RuPaul has given me in granted.” Whatever, Cynthia can speak two languages and I can barely speak one, so I’m being a bitch.

Lisa Kudrow pops up in a Valerie Cherish moment. She’s the reason that RuPaul opens up every door with “Hello, hello, hello!” Also the fact that a legend like Lisa Kudrow is just used as a 30-second promo and doesn’t get a seat at the judging table means that either Logo is a dumbass or Lisa was like, “I can give you thirty seconds.”

The main challenge this week is a Cheer-Off. Perhaps the most physical activity for these girls, because it’s so completely unexpected. They’ve done underwater photoshoots, trampoline photoshoots, intense dance competitions—but never…sports. Nina, as the Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent, is one team captain and CuCu is the other.

Nina does something that’s either shady or nice, and that’s purposefully pick Jaymes for her team and calling Jaymes an “underdog.” While I agree that Jaymes being the last chosen would’ve probably crushed her, that’s some deep psychological shit to call someone else the underdog. Touché, Nina. So left last is Valentina.

Now, when a queen is left picked for last, and she’s not pathetic, it usually implies a victory edit. Violet Chachki was constantly picked last (that might’ve been because of her odor) but she always ended up killing it. So it’s no surprise that Valentina is picked last. She’s young, coiffed and seemingly too nice.

Team Nina sets up Jaymes versus Alexis. Alexis is so hot as a boy that I literally gaspED when I saw her bald spot. But love is blind, and so am I. Jaymes and Alexis switch roles back and forth between Snoozy and Floozy, in a classic “going home” trope. It’s almost always that the queen on the bottom chooses wrongly and pays the price. Or they completely slay. Either or. One thing that I will say, mind games aside, is that the queens really make an effort (here and on Untucked) to give Jaymes a voice. Whether or not she takes that voice is up to her, but they’re making a definite effort.

On a side note, I could listen to Cynthia say anything. Even when she says, “It’s time for rehearsal” as they step onto the gymnastics mat—it’s funny. Because everything she says is like she’s reading it off a teleprompter in a wind storm. IT’S TIME FOR REHEARSAL.

The queens are, like, actually doing gymnastics. Not just your average tumbles, bitch, but real shit. They have to do cartwheels and full, standing pyramid formations. The instructor is so hot and his name is Dom—during the commercial break, the crew has to mop up the mats.

Kimora’s over it before the activity begins—which, like, is such a pet peeve. This is season 9, you understand what this show is about. It pushes you out of your comfort zone and into weird, unprecedented situations. And if you’re not ready for that, then you’re not here to win. So when Valentina takes being picked last, takes the discomfort and runs with it, I was here for her.

Screen Shot 2017-04-01 at 6.12.23 PM

Source: Logo TV

Before, her niceness was cloying, until I realized that she’s just uncrackable. And that, I think more than anything, is what the other girls realize (even on a subconscious level) and resent. She’s being nice because she has no reason not to be, and being nice isn’t a distraction for her. I also finally figured out, after seeing her glaringly smile, who Valentina reminds me of in her testimonial—Audrey Hepburn. The black turtleneck against the dainty features and the wide brows, she’s totally Audrey. (S)he really is stunning, in and out of drag.

Someone else I totally enjoyed that I didn’t think I would was Trinity. I clocked her as a dumb one-hit pageant queen, but she’s totally great TV. I know her runway wasn’t particularly well-received, but I felt like it was one of the most distinctive out of all the queens, and she really committed to the gymnastics.

As they’re getting ready, the queens do their “sob stories” which is a mean way to put it but I can’t think of another descriptor. Peppermint talks about being a cheerleader in high school, and getting physically assaulted for it. It’s an uncomfortable reality for many LGBTQ people, and something that particularly queer people in sports have to deal with a lot, but it’s great that she’s talking about it. Cynthia talks about being in remission and getting a new lease on life. It’s something that resonates particularly with Sasha, who we learned from her Carpool Karaoke has a mother who had cancer, and the moment ends with a group hug.

During the performances, Valentina shines like a star and Jaymes quickly burns out. Shea was funny and dymanic and totally pulled my eyes to her; she’s doing backflips and splits. Eureka does a fucking SPLIT and talks about how her knee popped but she kept going. I love her!

Screen Shot 2017-04-01 at 6.15.56 PM

Source: Logo TV

On the runway, the theme is “White Party.” Funny—the Trump administration has that same theme!

My standouts are Charlie Hides, in a frosty, furry ice queen look; Jaymes Mansfield in a voluptuous mistress with the mink look; Valentina in an absolutely breath-taking bridal gown; and Shea Coulee in a Barbarella-robotic look with some gorgeous fluffy hair. Honorable mentions are my thicc queen Eureka in a Dynasty look and Sasha in a weird, graphic, hot lady at the art gallery look.

And completely deserved, Valentina wins. Her cheer routine was bright and energetic and memorable, and her look was a complete 10/10.

Screen Shot 2017-04-01 at 6.16.12 PM

Source: Logo TV

Charlie, Jaymes and Kimora are in the bottom three, and Jaymes and Kimora are chosen to lip-sync. Now, I’ll be honest, I truly believe that Jaymes gave a better lip-sync performance (to the B-52’s “Love Shack”) because Kimora was so lackluster with her energy levels. However, looking back on it, I do understand that overall, Kimora has shown more potential than Jaymes. I just hope that Kimora proves that she deserves to be saved.

But I can’t help but feel sad. There’s a quality to Jaymes that reminds me of Marilyn Monroe: this baby-doll sadness. And Michelle was right to point out that her padding is impeccable. She really does harken back to a very specific age, without being trite or vague like other queens might. However, if there was ever a better moment in time to be the first one eliminated, it is now: the universe and popularity of RPDR are well-established, Jaymes got a sympathetic edit and two episodes to connect with the audience. If he plays his cards right, he will up his YouTube game and endear himself to the people. This doesn’t have to be the end for him.

So we say goodbye to Miss Mansfield, and we’re left with 13 queens.

See you next week for…I forget what because the promo for episode 3 was basically just a promo for Wendy Williams.

STRAY OBSERGAYTIONS

  • Did they give the B-52’s a single piano bench? Because they’re clustered together on the judges’ table like a bunch of Muppets.
  • We didn’t get to see a lot of Sasha or Nina this episode (beyond Nina being one team captain) but Sasha’s White runway look was graphic and beautiful, and Nina’s runway look was like an amped-up version of whatever Dax Exclamation-Point would’ve worn.
  • I’m beginning to warm to Farrah; she’s an idiot but she’s cute
  • Charlie Hides, in Untucked, alludes to a very real problem in the gay community: ageism. He knows that in the past, older queens are typically the first to go home and aren’t always taken seriously. But taking age out of the equation completely, Charlie Hides is incredibly formidable, and her runway look was probably my favorite. It was beautiful, played off her assets and memorable. Taking age back into the equation makes her all the more impressive.
  • “My cucu is just shaking right now.”
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LGBTQ, Review, television

REVIEW of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE S9E1, THE QUEENS ARRIVE

March 28, 2017Danny McCarthydrag queen, drag race, Logo, Logo TV, RPDR, RPDR9, RuPaul, Rupaul's Drag Race, VH1 Leave a comment
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Source: LogoTV via Mic.com

Grade: A (Starting out sweet).

As an annoying white gay who’s never done drag in his life, I’m clearly a reliable source and critic of drag. So with that solid background in mind, let’s get into the premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9!

I was going to do a (Ru)cap of RPDR earlier but Logo for some reason (or now VH1?) hasn’t put up the FIRST EPISODE. I watched it on TV (what a wealthy sentence) but usually when I do a recap, I’ll watch it once through with some light notetaking and then rewatch it with a better understanding/comedy writing/nuanced approach. But now we’re just gonna wing it™ (no hate to chickens).

If you’re a gay with access to Reddit (Ru-ddit?), you’ve already seen the first twenty minutes of the premiere. It has a special club premiere, but everyone has iPhones and the footage was uploaded to the Internet faster than Alyssa Edwards can drop into a full, crotch-grazing split. And that’s fast. So I’d already seen half of the first episode by the time that it actually aired, and I’m very interested.

First off the past, I get the sense that these are highly polished, highly colorful queens—which is good. Season 7 was very polished and the winner was Violet Chachki. Season 8 was more “campy” and really, I felt, left a lot to be desired. Bob the Drag Queen won that season, even though where is she now? I feel like she was smothered to death by Naomi Smalls’ lips.

But let’s go through the kweens as they come into the werk room (watching Drag Race is actively making me a worse speller). C’est la vie!

 

The first queen we are introduced to is a horrifying wax replica of RuPaul! I’ll have nightmares about this for days! Seriously though, not to grag (gay + brag) but I’ve seen the wax figure of RuPaul in the actual Madame Tussauds museum. this was before I understood what drag was, so I literally thought she was just a beautiful blonde caramel woman. Which, truthfully, is not that far off from what I think of RuPaul now.

1). Peppermint:

The first openly transgender woman to enter the Werk Room. Other trans women have come out during or after the contest, but Pep is the first one to enter as openly trans. So yes! And yes to a satin, blue 90’s theme robe.

2). Valentina:

STUNNING. Physically one of the most beautiful queens I’ve ever seen. I love the subtle details of her outfit, the sheer gloves studded with rhinestones, and the fabulous red color. I do worry that she’ll coast on fashion (a la Fame) so I’m eager to see her hidden depths. And her hidden talents. A-YOO (spoiler).

3). Eureka O’Hara:

I truly don’t know what it is, but I was attracted to Eureka from the first moment I saw her. I love her confidence, her cinching, and her fast wit. I don’t love that she was being semi-catty to every girl, but they’re fucking drag queens, so I need to shut the hell up. Hoping that Eureka has more up her sleeve than a catty remark. Serving pure catfish!

4). Charlie Hides:

Old as sin. Has been called by Cher as her favorite impersonator (Chad Michaels will kill herself). Very funny. Very sharp.

5). Farrah Moan:

One of the best drag names I’ve ever heard, which is all the more surprising because I think that Farrah is a literal fucking idiot. I wasn’t a huge fan of her look (I would’ve liked more of a cinch) but she’s stunning. Literally stunning.

6). Sasha Velour:

Crazy, weird, out of the box. Serving Where the Wild Things Are realness. She knows who she is, what she does, and where she wants to go. I’ve seen a little bit of her social media—so I know she can do glamour and performance. A complete frontrunner for me.

7). Alexis Michelle:

What Trixie and Katya would call a Witness Protection Program name. I wasn’t a huge fan of her padding—she padded on a FUPA, but she’s hot as a guy and a Broadway actress. She’ll be good, but cut the contacts.

8). Shea Coulee:

Will win, probably. Her outfit was loud and fashion and banjee (“Champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget”). Chicago queens are notoriously strong, and Shea doesn’t disappoint. Apparently she makes her own corsets too.

9). Trinity Taylor:

The Body. On the surface she seems basic, but she’s definitely got great potential, and I kind of dig her plastic surgery look.

10). Kimora Blac:

The REAL Body. I hate a constant breast plate on a queen, but the more I see it on Kimora, the more it grows on me. But that might just be the fungus. Also Kimora said that she’s never had plastic surgery, and I’d like to announce that I’ve never had a sip of alcohol or watched TV. We can all tell lies, hunny.

11). Jaymes Mansfield:

Similar to Trixie on her season, she paints on a bigger personality than she actually has. She introduced herself via puppet (same). I want her to do well, but I think she’ll crumble under the pressure. “There are my summer diamonds—some are diamonds, and some are not.”

12). Nina Bo’Nina Brown:

AMAZING. Completely transforms. Possibly the best make-up I’ve ever seen. Walked in as a mouse, transformed into a full PEACH. The only drawbacks I can find are her own confidence (or lack thereof) and the amount of time that she puts into her looks might be a hindrance.

13). Aja:

VERY cool look, but I’m not as entranced as some other Tumblr gays. Sasha says she’s the number one name in Brooklyn, and I trust Sasha with my life. She’s a killer dancer, with hidden energy, so I hope to be surprised. Also she seems like a fucking sweetheart, so I’m an asshole.

14). LADY GAGA:

We knew that Lady Gaga would be appearing on the season, but the fact that they HAD HER WALK IN, PRETENDING TO BE A LADY GAGA IMPERSONATOR made me literally GAG. Probably the funniest thing RPDR has ever done.

*****

The queens kiki with Gaga, we find out the first challenge: the Miss Charisma-Uniqueness-Nerve-and-Talent competition. The queens must do two looks—a frock inspired by their hometowns, and a Lady Gaga look.

None of the queens are terrible, except for Jaymes. She wore cow print (#MagnoliaCrawfordRIP).

I loved Farrah’s Las Vega look, even though it was much more Anna Karenina (Anna KaRuNina?) than Showgirl. Both of Valentina’s looks were incredible—from the mariachi look to the Lady Gaga look, truly flawless. Apparently the queens walk the runway for each look twice, and some tea I learned is that Charlie Hides MESSED UP HER REVEAL (RuVeal) BOTH TIMES.

The top three are Eureka, Sasha and Nina. Nina wins and just as Ru announces that, she also pulls a twist. We learned early on in the episode that no queens would be eliminated in the first episode. But Ru had something up his chartreuse sleeve, and RuVeals that an eliminated queen from a previous season would be coming back as the fourteenth queen of season 9!

Who (Cynthia Lee Fontaine) could it (CuCu) be?

I wonder!!!

It’s Cynthia. Definitely Cynthia.

Anyway, there wasn’t a ton of drama because I knew the twist, and there was no elimination. But I’m thrilled that A) we’ll have a nice, long season with 14 queens and B) that all the queens seem to be of such high caliber.

My top three projections (pRujections) are Shea Coulee, Sasha Velour and Eureka (dark horse).

Next week: Lisa Kudrow!!

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